The ADHD Effect on Marriage: Understand and Rebuild Your Relationship in Six Steps

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There is little focus on navigating the challenges. Relationships tools are briefly covered. Then it is followed by how miserable people are. I am so grateful this book is Finally on audiobook. I have a hard copy and have had it for several years now. I've been married for nearly 11 years. The beginning of the book almost exactly described the downfall my marriage has been going through. The fact that Melissa so perfectly describes what I've been through and does so with logic and compassion. She does a wonderful job explaining in a way that keeps me from feeling inept as a spouse. Melissa provides a nine-week couples seminar live by Zoom three times a year (fall, winter, and spring) and in a self-study version the remainder of the year. Regardless of whether you decide to work with the consulting group, we STRONGLY recommend you take the seminar. Past participants repeatedly say the course ‘is one of the best things they have ever done’ for their relationship. I got through it fine. But I've also done a decent amount of work on myself in this area before listening to the book. Even with that, the general tone throughout the book was still very difficult at times. To capitalize on this and inject some fun into your relationship, do something silly together, like going to an amusement park, or having a silly string fight. Spontaneity is a gift that ADHD brings, one that often draws people to those with ADHD in the first place. Make space for that spontaneity in your relationship by factoring in time together that isn’t overly planned.

Overview: A team of ADHD and ADHD relationship experts ready to help you turn your relationship around Ms. Orlov's book provides what many leave out - empathy for both partners. She offers a no-blame, nonjudgmental account of the differences and struggles of each partner, with equal amounts of respect, understanding, and empathy for the experience of both. This is a recipe for success for all partnerships. Help get this into the hands of young people, and some inexpensive way for average folks to be personally guided, as books and ADHD often don't mix well. Thank you, also, for your teleseminar, Melissa. It was well done. I may retrain to assist in this field, seeing the huge need.To identify your boundaries, reflect on a time when you felt truly happy because you were living authentically. What mattered most to you then? What typical behaviors or outlooks did you have at that time?

The ADHD brain functions in a very consistent and predictable way. That means that certain behavioral patterns will inevitably arise in the context of a romantic relationship. For instance, a “parent-child” dynamic might develop, in which the partner without ADHD takes over practical responsibilities but then feels resentful. Or they constantly nag their partner, which only creates distance, irritation, and conflict.Whatever you end up doing, make sure you do it regularly. After all, rebuilding your relationship by having fun together is something you should prioritize over menial tasks. Take lots of photos together while you’re out and about, and cover your fridge with them. That way, you’ll have a constant reminder that you’re both on a journey towards a happier, healthier life together. Next, ask your partner what drew them to you initially. What qualities made them fall for you? What do they cherish in you? Which of those characteristics do you feel proud of? This will help you reconnect with who you are beyond any unhelpful behavioral patterns that have developed. Melissa describes a lot of the destructive patterns I have wrestled with myself over the years as either my partners or myself has been noticing and suffering under in an ADHD relationship - especially the parent/child dynamic and the ensuing anger/resentment that follows it and many more of the core dynamics which is active in an untreated relation between a couple where one or both suffer from this diagnosis. Create a plan to reach long-term goals for your relationship that aligns with who you are as individuals