A Monk's Guide to Happiness: Meditation in the 21st century

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So, if we are biologically built to predominantly notice the things which blemish our perfect state (be their things or wants, regrets or misfortunes), how are we supposed to achieve those mental states (presence, completeness, freedom) which happiness consists of? I love to reflect on the past so that I can learn from it. I also enjoy planning ahead for the future so I can use that knowledge to improve my life and the lives of those around me. He became one after a life-threatening heart problem and severe burnout cut short his promising acting career at 21, on which he had embarked after being educated at Oxford. And last is freedom, or the feeling of liberation from every source of unhappiness. This involves not letting our negative emotions hold us hostage. Lesson 2: You will have more enjoyment in life if you understand what you do that takes it away. Say that you want to buy a pair of expensive glasses and say that you can’t afford them. Every time you think about them, you feel unhappy—you’re absolutely sure that once you buy those glasses, you’ll finally be happy.

The state of happiness isn’t something ephemeral—isn’t a hit of dopamine in the brain. The state of happiness, he says, is an enduring state of completeness, a state of peace, a state of no more striving and no more fear.In this profound and inspiring book, Gelong Thubten shares a practical and sustainable approach to happiness. Thubten, a Buddhist monk and meditation expert who has worked with everyone from school kids to Silicon Valley entrepreneurs and Benedict Cumberbatch, explains how meditation and mindfulness can create a direct path to happiness. The aim of this book is to help you create happiness through bringing meditation into the heart of your daily life—not only to reduce stress and gain greater mastery over your thoughts and emotions, but also to discover your mind’s deep potential for unconditional compassion and freedom. Happiness is inside you, waiting. A Monk’s Guide to Happiness explores the nature of happiness and helps bust the myth that our lives and minds are too busy for meditation. The book can show you how to:

That brings us to the second component of happiness, which is feeling anchored to the present. This means we don’t drift away into thoughts about the past or future, where we tend to get caught up in painful memories and anxiety-provoking uncertainties. For example, “I wish I hadn’t made that comment to my friend” or, “I wonder what she’ll say when I see her next.” Instead, we focus on the moment we’re experiencing. The main brain chemical involved in that kind of happiness “hit” is dopamine, and interestingly this hormone surges before we get what we want and then it drops away. When we are about to have the bite of cake, or when we’re getting ready for the party, we are caught up in the excitement of the chase, and when we actually eat the cake the dopamine drops away; and so our lives are about anticipation. Animals get a big dopamine hit when they think they are about to get fed; “about to happen” is always the exciting part. “When I am rich”; “When I meet the right person”; “When I achieve the body I want.” We never actually get there, as the anticipation leads to a habit of looking for the next thing, which means we never feel we truly arrive. There is always an “if,” “when,” or “because” to our happiness. Gelong Thubten's wonderful book provides a bracing challenge to our search for instant gratification and "instant" happiness, and a lucid, practical, step-by-step path to contentment and a genuine and lasting peace of mind.'A Monk's Guide to Happiness: Meditation in the 21st Century" is striking in its simplicity, a well-informed and gently presented exploration of the nature of happiness and how to bring the practice of meditation into our busy 21st century lives. Author Gelong Thubten is a Buddhist monk, meditation teacher, and author who turned to a Buddhist monastery 25 years ago despite, or perhaps because of, living a fast-paced life with much success that many would respect and mire. Normally our minds don’t feel free. Thoughts and emotions create a storm inside us, and we easily become their slaves. Moment to moment we might find ourselves in an “argument” with reality, constantly wishing things were different. Happiness involves mastering our thoughts and emotions and embracing things just as they are; it means that we relax and stop trying to manipulate our circumstances. If we can learn how to rest deeply in the present moment, even when facing difficulties, and we train our minds not to judge, we can discover within us a tremendous source of happiness and satisfaction. We might start to notice how much we usually look for nourishment from “outer” things instead. We begin our conversation talking about distraction and addiction, two states that are very closely linked. When we distract ourselves by scrolling, overeating, or drinking for example, says Thubten, we’re pushing away emotional pain or discomfort – even if we may not realise it. But the discomfort is really in the pushing. If we can learn instead to sit with what’s making us uncomfortable, those emotions start to transform. As we saw in chapter one, genuine happiness is really a state of freedom. Being free is the one thing we humans care about most—we don’t want to be controlled by others, and we know that we deserve the freedom to do or be whatever we want; this is something we fight hard for, and as a society we have won some important battles. We live in a world of choices, where in many (unfortunately not all) areas of the world, we can dress, speak, and think however we want. It’s a “free society,” but are we ever truly free? We’d like to think we are “freethinking” individuals, but our minds are not really that free at all.